I miss you
by NarutoSasuke4evr
Summary: [KakaIru] Kakashi goes missing durring a mission, eventually they classify him as dead. Iruka is trying to get over his loss.


**By:** NarutoSasuke4evr

**Warning:** Yaoi, Shonen ai, BoyxBoy

**Spoilers:** None really, unless you haven't read the story...

**Pairings: **KakaIru

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Iruka was alone. Kakashi had an Anbu mission. Iruka remembered what the silver-haired jounin had told him.

"_Iruka… I have a mission… I need to go on."_

"_B-But Kakashi…"_

"_Don't' worry, Monmon-chan… I'll be back before you miss me, ok?"_

_Iruka walks up to Kakashi and rests his head on the jounin's chest. "…Do you promise?"_

"_Yes. I promise with all my heart I'll come home safely and I'll come here first."_

"…_Alright… you can go, Kashi-kun…"_

_Kakashi rubs the chuunin's head. "I love you…"_

"_I love you too, Kakashi. Remember, you promised."_

"_I won't forget. You're the most important thing in my life."_

"_Good luck." Iruka hugs Kakashi and gives him a kiss goodbye._

It had been 12 days. And he missed Kakashi.

He missed Kakashi since the first night, when he crawled into bed. The bed was cold and empty. He had expected Kakashi to come out from under the covers and poke his sides until he yelled 'uncle' or started laughing so hard he cried. There was nothing there. He had nightmares every night of Kakashi abandoning him, or dying.

On the 14th day Naruto told Iruka that they had a new teacher. "His name is Shobu-sensei! Where'd Kakashi-sensei go off to?"

Iruka had told him that he didn't know. He went to see the Hokage, furious. "Hokage-sama… is it true that cell 7, Haruna Sakura, Uchiha Sasuke and Uzumaki Naruto led by Hatake Kakashi have a new teacher?"

"Yes. Kakashi is missing. All but two of the Anbu on that mission have returned."

"…What will he think when he sees how quickly he was replaced, Hokage-sama?"

"Iruka-sensei, he's not a replacement, just a temporary teacher. Besides… we're not even sure he's still alive."

"He is alive!" Iruka pounded his fists down on Tsunade's desk. "Dammit! He's alive! He promised me he'd be ok!"

"Iruka-sensei, calm down."

"Why?! Do you even have anybody looking for him!?"

"Of course we do, he's one of the prides of Konoha…"

"He's not just a 'pride of Konoha' he's my—"

"Iruka-sensei… What do you suggest we do, huh? He's been gone for 14 days! Remember that some people in the village know him better than you, and remember that you are only a chuunin level ninja. I don't know how long you've known Kakashi, but he doesn't mess around on missions. He's always on time and he always gets the job done. All the Anbu do! Now, please, tell me why we should spend our resources looking for him."

"…Because he'd find me, no matter where I was."

"He's a loyal ninja, but I do have bigger thing to worry about. I have people looking for him. If he's out there, he will be found."

"…I want to join the search parties."

"No. You are only a chuunin. You'll get in their way."

"I need to find him."

"You need to go back to the academy and teach."

Iruka stiffly bowed and ran out the door, and Tsunade sighed. She didn't want to be so harsh to Iruka but sometimes he just wouldn't listen.

A week later Iruka was called in to Tsunade's office again.

"Yes, Hokage-sama?"

"..Iruka we found something. The other Anbu returned yesterday. He had this." She pulled out a bloody black cloth from her drawer. "You might not want to see it, but I thought it best." She held it out to show him. He walked over to it and held it. It was Kakashi's facemask, and it was bloodstained. His face grew pale and he knee's grew weak. "Iruka, you don't look so good."

"I'm fine… Hokage-sama…"

"You may keep it. You two were good friends."

"A-Arigatou…" His voice was shaky, as if he were holding back tears. He slowly walked out of Tsunade's office.

He first made his way to Naruto's house, to show him. He held the cloth close to him, as if it was a young child that was very sick. He knocked on Naruto's door. The blonde opened it, and Sasuke peeked around the corner.

"Iruka-sensei, are you alright?" Naruto looked the chuunin over. "You look sick… What's that you're carrying?"

Sasuke came out from the other room, and he curiously looked at the cloth.

"It's Kakashi's…"

"…Mask." Sasuke finished the sentence. He looked gravely at Iruka and then sat on one of Naruto's chairs.

"Why do you have Kakashi-sensei's mask, Iruka-sensei?" Naruto's ignorance was annoying.

"Dobe."

"H-He isn't coming back, N-Naruto…"

"Why are you crying, Iruka-sensei?"

Iruka couldn't answer. His lung didn't want to work. He kept choking and crying. Naruto saw the blood on the mask.

"…He's dead."

Iruka nodded and left. Naruto stood in the doorway trying to process how Kakashi could've died.

Kakashi wasn't coming back. He had said it. He didn't believe it though. He couldn't believe he was alone. He waited by the door for Kakashi to come in, day after day, but it never opened. He was summoned to the Hokage again, 3 weeks later.

"…Iruka. Come in. Sit down."

Iruka came in and sat in the big green chair, not really caring what Tsunade had to say.

"… We found something else." The mask was sitting on his nightstand at home.

"…If it isn't Kakashi, I don't care."

"I know he loved you, Iruka."

'How?' Iruka searched for an answer, neither of them had told anybody.

"He wrote letters."

"He did what?"

"We found them. They were addressed to you."

"You read them!?"

"They might've shown us where he was, Iruka. We couldn't understand most of it." She handed him a stack of scribbled letters, the writing to bad it had to be Kakashi's. Iruka laughed despite his grief.

"…He always sucked at writing."

"Iruka… You're driving yourself mad, try to forget about him."

"…I can't, he's everywhere."

Tsunade nodded and he left.

_Iruka-sensei, _

_I miss you. We haven't found anything out of the ordinary yet, but they won't let us leave. They say that we will find it soon. I can't even remember what we're looking for. I think the commander has cracked. I promice promise I'll be home to you soon. I can't wait to see your face again! I love you, _

_-Kakashi_

Iruka felt hot tears on his face. It was like he was there with Kakashi… one last time.

_Iruka, _

_It's been a long time. I didn't expect us to be gone 4 days. I'm sorry. I promised I'd be back before you missed me. You'll have to yell at me later. We finally found something, but the commander isn't making any sense. He's even denser than you! You know I'm kidding. I can't wait to hold you in my arms again… Aishiteru… _

_-Kakashi_

Iruka's hands trembled as he read. Such simple words had never meant so much to him. He cried, and teardrops stained the paper. He set the letters down and laid in bed, thinking of what it would've been like if Kakashi hadn't died.

::3 Months later::

Iruka had convinced himself to go on with life. He acted happy-go-lucky again. He took Naruto out to ramen again, but he still cried himself to sleep alone at night.

He got home late one night. His apartment door was open. He was positive he had shut it. His first thought was… burglars. He drew a kunai from his back pocket and crept toward his door. He gripped it tightly and burst into his apartment. He dropped the kunai and fell to his knees, bawling.

"…Sorry I'm late."

Iruka sat there crying. He looked up again, and managed to choke out one word. "Kakashi."

Kakashi knelt down beside Iruka. "You miss me?" He touched Iruka's chin and tilted up his face. He licked the tears off his face.

"A little."

"That means I lied, didn't I?"

Iruka threw his arms around the jounin. His clothes were damp from being in the wilderness for so long. Iruka's tears didn't help. Kakashi rubbed Iruka's back. "You got my letters. I saw them by the bed."

"I told you I'd come here first. Nobody else knows I'm here."

"Nobody else knows you're alive!"

"You thought I died…? I guess I would think so too…"

"I'm sorry, it's just your mask and your letters and 3½ months… I thought I'd never see you again!!"

Kakashi held Iruka tighter. "Don't apologize." He kissed Iruka's forehead. Iruka wiped his eyes.

"It's really you…" He touched the copy-nin's face. "You're really back…"

"I'm not going anywhere for a long time."

Iruka kissed the jounin repeatedly. He had missed him so much. "What nerve do you have, leaving me here for so long?"

Kakashi laughed and helped Iruka to his feet. "I noticed you kept my mask."

"…Yes…" Iruka's stomach growled.

"I also noticed you have no eatable food." Kakashi had come back an hour ago and thrown up the food he ate, because he didn't check the expiration date.

Iruka rubbed the back of his head. "Yeah, I guess I haven't gotten around to eating much lately."

"Would you like to get some food?"

"…But your mask… Everybody would see."

"I rather spend time with you. I don't care."

"The one by my bed is just a little bloody and torn… you can use it."

"And just how am I supposed to kiss you with my mask on?"

Iruka blushed.

"Let's get you food, Iruka."

Iruka watched as Kakashi went outside, in his bloody ninja uniform and no mask. Kakashi turned around and waved for Iruka to come. The brown-haired ninja ran to him, leaning against his lover and holding his hand. Kakashi flung his arm around the chuunin and cooed in his ear, sending shivers down his spine.

"Aishiteru, Kashi-kun…"

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I liked the story, I thought it was cute... If you did too, please R&R. KakaIru is my favorite pairing!! That and SasuNaru... I can't choose between the two...


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